Long weekend....heh
Yes folks... here comes the long weekend. I cant even remember the last holiday that we had.... was it like CNY? (Zi ji slap ni zi ji) Oh yeah! Can u believe it? Itz May already!! Where did the year go? WTH? Itz as if...nvm...u know all the usual exclamations.... but i jus have to say i never did believe them before... but now i do..
Also, have you guys found urself forgetting more stuff than u usually do? I seem to be forgetting a lot of stuff... and also! I find my standard of English going down the drain.... bah... this is not good. Haha...
In any case, here are a couple of things i've heard/ seen/ surfed for the past week....
1. "Here's another good reason why it's good to drive as opposed to taking public transport. You don't have to see ugly people snog in front of you..."
2. U know u've been working too hard when u dream of a fricking Excel worksheet
3. How the doctor checks for piles is not very pleasant indeedy....
4. "Wah, the grapes damn cheap. Buy then can eat until lau sai"
5. The perfect way to embarrass your father... learning all ur sister's dance steps...
http://abum.com/?show_media=63506. "Turn the fan bigger"
7. Writing an essay about why Chelsea will beat Arsenal will get u a B in your Comm Skills essay.
8. 5 to go!! hehehe
rite...time to go Brewerkz and eat chilli... later pple...
Thought of the day..
Thought of the day... while having Personal Potty Time:
Hmmm...feeling quite tired today...wonder why...damn... tomm got work... wonder how the rest of the w.......wat the hell did i eat man??????
PS. I hate it when DJs on radio have a different quote for u each time they sign off. If i wanted some advice on my life, i wouldnt take it from some teeny bopper DJ whom i cant even put a face to. In any case, dun think i don't know those quotes come off the friggin internet. Bah. Put some real work in. But then again, i wouldnt want them to come up with their own quotes, judging from the advice they give some of their writers...
No wonder i think the best radio comes on after 2am. When they're all off-air.
Oh yeah..my bro made a damn funny comment today.. haha.. we were driving past Nanyang Girls Sch and they had this banner up. "Longest Popiah Line ; To beat the Guiness Record"
So he went...
"Well, the servers must be damn slow."
hahahahahahhahahaha.... i can imagine everyone turning up, thinking they'll get to eat popiah.... then in the end, they're jus made to line up... hahahahahaha...
Weird Dreams
Hahaha..i jus came up with this... here are a coupla weird dreams that i've had over the past few years. They're so weird that i still remember them... hey..issit weird that i remember them? .... wateva.. here goes
1) I jus dreamt of my grandma coming over to my house. She came over, looked rather sick. My mom and dad were there and telling me something (which i couldnt understand, so thatz much like reality) Suddenly my grandma sits at the piano in my living room and starts tinkling out a tune. Then i sit down and join in... (PS i dun play the piano either)
2) Back when i was in primary school, i used to dream that i was driving a grey Honda Civic. Was driving around a cliff. U know the kinds that u see in movies that go round and round. Suddenly, i discover that there are no floorboards to the car. I can see the gound! And i'm running like the Flintstones! So at that moment, the car flips out and careens down the cliff. But i'm safe becoz i land in the water. I immediately realise that i'm surrounded by sharks... but they're just wimming past me. (Think that Sony DVD burner advert where the fish swim around at the last frame) yeah...sthg like that. So i sink. All this time i'm holding my breath. Lo and behold, i discover i am Aquaman! Becoz i can breathe underwater! (No wait, Aquaman is Hole) But i'm still sinking. When i get to the bottom, once again to my pleasent surprise, i manage to sneak into Underwater world without having to pay for a ticket. Nice!
Allow me to digress, because breathing underwater brings up another story. I actually tried to breathe underwater when i was younger. Not the "oops i breathed in some water" kinda thing, but the "letz see if i can breathe underwater...urrghzz..ow ow ow ow.. " kinda thing
3) I remember watching American Werewolf in God-know-where when i was younger. Then getting chased by that mofo in my dreams. Bah.
4) Another one is where i'm climbing up these towers of builing blocks. Yes... building blocks. The kind that have letters on them. I'm Mini-mark! hahaha..anywayz..i keep climbing and i keep falling. Makes me wonder why i didnt stop.
5) I dreamt i was taken away on a pirate ship. The captain and all were really mean and screaming, yet all i could think of was that i had school the next day and i was going to miss it.
I'm sure i've had tons of other dreams. But then again, i can't remember them. But hey!! Dun let them stop you from sharing yours. Love to hear urs. Dreamt u were Aquaman lately Hole? hahahaha
I dreamt we were together before we were.
But then again, that's not a weird dream. =)
This song....
This song is how old. This song is how nice. This song rox. Ha!
Ok! Guys...tell me the songs that totally hit the spot for you! U knoww...melt u, make u nostalgic...
Hole... BBMak doesnt count...
My trip to the !@#$% Dentist
Ok...so 2 days ago, i took my trip to the dentist. To fill u guys in, i havent been to the dentist for almost 25,698 years... .so yeah...that long. And the only reason i'm seeing him is becoz my wisdom tooth is crumbling to bits...and becoz Laine's making me see one.. hahaha...
Soooo...me n my dad, we take the trip down to the fella. (My dad's coming along becoz i'm a wuss.... hahahaha... no lah! The dentist is apparently our old neighbour...DISCOUNT!) Itz somewhere in Bukit Merah. First thing i step thru the door, he goes "Wah! U've put on alot of weight ah!"
WTF! So i'm like thinking ..."That's not nice! But then again, i've always been this size wat! Wadahell u talking about?" But i smile and say "Yah yah.... *mumbles under breath* stupid old coot" Then i think he realises his mistake and tries to cover up by saying "Do u play rugby?"
No...but i'll tackle ur ass rite here....
Later on, we realise that he mistook me for my bro....waaaad? How do u mistake the 2 of us? We dun even look alike????
So we get down to the teeth part. He goes... "hmmm...your teeth are very dirty... U wanna pull? Pull lah....wisdom tooth no use one."
WADAHELL? Where's the warmer-upper?? No buffer? Just get straight to business why dun you? And why do u sound so gleeful at the prospect of pulling someone's tooth out? U sadist! And what do u mean the wisdom teeth have no use? Allow me to inform you that i sometimes push food to the back of my mouth so that i can specially use my wisdom teeth to chew them! HA! (i'm kidding)
Anywayz, he gets down to cleaning my teeth...... or rather...tearing my gums... his instruments are moving everywhere loh... from the teeth they can "accidentally" rub against the gums or sides of the mouth....fricking painful man... after that he gets out this chisel-like instrument and starts pulling at the gaps between my teeth with gusto. Major ouch. Not to mention my mouth is getting sore from being open for the last 15 minutes.
Ok...so next comes the flouride treatement. So they put some strawberry tasting paste on ur teeth. Then they pass a current thru u....yes an electrical current! That wasnt the worse thing...his electrical current passer thingie was home made!!! I was expecting to get zapped to death at any moment.
So yeah....now u know why i go to dentists every so "often".
!@#$%!@#!$%&#%
Toilet humor...
Hey...any of u ever treasure ur alone time in the toilet? Sometimes, it seems that thats the only time u ever have to yourself? There are just so many people out there bothering you that when u're on the potty, it seems so cool to be able to recollect your thought and just finally finally put everything in perspective. Yes. On the potty. Try it. It works.
Secondly, been to Cold Storage lately? Ever notice that big poster at the entrance, of the store's manager or some shit like that. WTF????!! thats how creepy! That day i was standing at the entrance, i turned and i thot someone had snuck up on me! sheeeesh! Watz the use of having a life sized poster that says "Hi My name is Chan Koo Teh. I will be pleased to assist you."
RUBBISH! You're a poster. You cant help me with anything! Hey, maybe if i needed to scare someone, but NOT RITE NOW... So someone pls remind me again why they have the posters...
Internal ConsensusAhhh..another beautfiful time of the year. The ever-popular internal consensus. Popular not only because it is essential to your obtaining a room, but also to top up your need for everyday-simple-as-it-is real life drama.
While i shall not delve into the stories of this year's internal consensus, here are a couple of things that u may do to "spice" up
1. Arrive at Internal Consensus with a hired entourage and walk to the front. Get one of them to play the "20th Century Fox" theme on a portable player. Then demand that u be taken to see the manager who runs this shenanigan.
2. Keep hanging around the JCRC tables, trying to peek at their documents. Even though they're not confidential, it'll sure irritate the hell outta them.
3. Attend every floor's internal-internal consensus. Pls provide constructive comments. Such as : "Why don't u guys take a break?", "This is boring.", "Do I HAVE to be heree?"
4. Start the damn trouble. Take someone else's room.
I realise there's not much mischief to get into at internal consensus....darn...
Another thing..i realise Singaporeans are naturally attracted to crowds...doesnt matter what itz about. We get drawn in by some unseen force. To look see or to join, it doesnt matter. It'll start as a few people gathering...then the pioneer kaypos will start to zoom in to get a look. This would mean 70% of all Singaporeans. The other 30% come in later.... when the force has grown. We are beyond help.
PS do ah bengs still exist? I havent many around lately. Maybe its becoz most of my life is spent around Raffles Place... which i think they might not frequent. But then again, havent seen them elsewhere either. Whatever happened to them????
