Delicious C. Glide

Back then..

1) I don't remember three quarters of National Treasure
2) I don't mind if Great World is Plaza Sing or the other way round
3) Don's before Teh Tarik then "Hey, your girlfriend ah?"
4) 28-3= 31
5) Amoy vegetarian vs China sq vegetarian. Who'll triumph?
6) West Coast Park..
7) 2 Door.
8) "Can't you see, that I'll fly free."
7) Our 2 lines.

Stuff I like to think about from time to time... =)

posted by clownz @ 2:04 PM 0 comments

Nu shit..

Alrite.... havent posted many links becoz I havent found many that were worth posting! haha..

Best beatboxing I've seen in a long time!

Worst Rapper ever!!

Peanut Butter Jelly Time!!

posted by clownz @ 10:18 PM 0 comments

This almost beats the Fa Lun Gong thing...

Today i received an email... I stared at it for 1 minute.

"You have been chosen as a Mandarin speaker for this project, which will last from 31st May - 15th June"






Need I say more....

posted by clownz @ 3:27 PM 0 comments

I read this...it made me sad

Read this: http://clatch.blogspot.com/2006/04/open-letter-to-my-lost-son.html

posted by clownz @ 11:44 AM 2 comments

In this day and age...

Ok...emergency blog time... hahaha.. you know those msgs on your friendster that go

"Hi, you're very sweet! I would like to get to know you better."

No, i didnt get that.. *phew* .. but a friend of mine did... hahaha.. and this dude left his hp number! Wat an ass!! hahaha.. itz Bryan : 96979850

Anyywayyz, i decided to msg him. So the conversation goes as follows:

Me: Hi! Do I know you? You left a msg on my friendster. =)

"Bryan" : Bryan.. Frenster4@yahoo.com.sg.. want to meet? U like hugs?

Me: Bryan? I dunno a Bryan. Are u like Michelle's fren? THe one we met at Far East? hehehe.. =) (lotsa smilies.. guys loooveee smilies... hahaha)

"Bryan" : Tink so, u still remember? Hehe.. where u stay at? Want meet?

Me: Hehehe.. sure thing? Why not u arrange wif mich la? Then we'll all meet!

"Bryan" : Erm, i prefer to mit u alone.. Do u like hugging? like hugging u bcos since tat day i saw u, i keep tinking of u.. u r so sweet.. tonite free? Stay at?

I kinda called him 'creepy' after that and he didn't reply... alas..the fun ended... hahahaha..well, in any case... i dunno if this dude was for real.. becoz if he was... itz really a very sad case... hahahah..

anyhoooozzz.. jus drop him a msg pple! hahahaha... at anytime of the day! hehehe..

posted by clownz @ 4:19 PM 0 comments

Guide to saying Goodbye

OK, its been sometime since I last came out with a guide. Sooo, here's 1 for my fans!! you, you you you you you !! yeahhh!! Hooooooo!!!

Guide to Goodbyes

1) Palm Face

This is one of the most common goodbyes you'll see out there. Mostly favoured by middle-aged men, it is performed by raising your palm up to about face level, facing the object of your goodbye. This is followed by a "Bye." or a nod of the head. Note that a nod of the head is cooler and more mature, because some people might get it wrong by bellowing a gusty "Bye!". No. The only kind of bye that should be said with this species is a somber, flat "Bye." Just think of your Dad saying goodbye to his friends. There's none of that chirpy, cheerful shit.

Reommended for : Middle aged men. People going through depression

2) Five Fingered Vertical Wave

This one is favoured mostly by women/ girls. This is because of its versatility, being able to project a reserved, yet feminine image. It starts out the same as the Palm Face, but adds an extra movement of bringing the fingers down and up to wave towards your target. If done properly, it looks very nice and sweet. If done wrongly, will project a right image of spacstic-ness due to

i) Fingers not closed together, hence resulting in The Claw!!
ii) Fingers not coordinated, resulting in The Chao Yang Student.
iii) Finger cramps.

Recommended for : Most ladies...... and metrosexuals.

3) Cool Guy 2 Fingered Goodbye

Now, this is one of my preferred ones.. .as I am a Cool Guy Singaporean Alpha Male.. The essence of this goodbye is not the action, but the attitude behind the action. Without the precise amount of non-chalancy, this has potential to result in a lot of finger pointing and giggling. First, half close your eyes and look in the general direction of the target. Do not look directly at target because this is not COOL. Next, raise your arm at the elbow, to bring it up to ear level. Ok, the easy part is over. now, you must craft your fingers into the perfect 2 Fingered Goodbye stance. Start off with Palm Face, then turn palm anti-clockwise by 45 degrees. Next, relax the muscles on the fourth and pinky finger, so that they fall perpendicular to the rest of the up-right fingers. After that, slightly relax all fingers to give slight curvature. Tada! The perfect stance. But we're not done yet. After forming this hand-pattern ,one must nod slightly to your target. The essence of the attitude is in the nod. Nod too hard and he'll think you're saying "Yes!". Not enough vertical action will render the movement un-noticable.. So, a slow, vertical action of nodding will give you the perfect 2 Fingerered Cool Guy Goodbye.

Recommended for : All Singaporean Alpha Males... and butches.

4) 5 Fingered Cool Guy Goodbye

See above, except do not bring ring and pinky finger down.

Recommended for: Cool Singaporean Alpha Males who have broken/ sprained either of last 2 fingers due to doing Cool Singaporean Alpha Male activities.

5) Close to Body Frantic Wave

Used very effectively at the right time, this will help heighten the excitment of the night/ day. Once again, raise arm at elbow, but this time keep it next to body. Once at apex, wave frantically at wrist. Also, top it off with a generous baring of teeth, much like a over-the-top grin. This one is favoured by females, ranging from secondary school girls to young working adults. Protrays a just-right Act Cute factor.

Recommended for : Girls who haven't reached middle-age yet. No, Bernard... you do not fall under that category.. you should stop doing this.

6) Over and Under

This is the comical member of the family. Commonly found during large gatherings, when a few members have to leave earlier while the main body is left behind. Raise arm from shoulder up, bringing your palm above your head. Face your palm to the sky. Bend arm at elbow slightly to give a nice semi-circle curvature and make a funny face. "Seee yaaaa!"

Recommended for: People who want to say goodbye but dun wanna say goodbye.

7) The Salute/ The Wink

For the over-the-top, disgust people around you image. This is rarely found, except when you have really "extra" people around, or if they think they are cooler than they really are.I group them together because they both fall under the "DO NOT DO" warning. I dun think i need to describe them because you probably know what they look like, seeing that the images have been burned in my memory based on pure disgust, but I can elaborate on the repurcussions of each.
The Saluter thinks he is being uber-cool, when he gives his for-the-tv goodbye to people. It gets worse when he decides to dish one to each person that he is saying goodbye too. Imagine some idiot saluting 16 people before leaving.
The Wink just makes other guys uncomfortable, due to the before mentioned (see "I Love Photocopiers" post) inate instinct to look cool. Hence, all vaguely gay actions/ movements are met with noisy attempt at gay jokes, loud laughter and a subliminal movement AWAY from the source.

Recommended for : No.

And that's all for now! Pls feel free to bomb my tag board with more goodbyes! and I'll add them...

*Cool Guy 2 Fingered Goodbye*

Thanx to my brain storming partner!! You! hehe..

posted by clownz @ 11:50 AM 1 comments

Represent!!!

Time to represent our own local humor scene!! Screw Jack Neo! These guys rock way betta!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2o6B9dva7A

PS: Thanx Colin for sharing! ahha

BTW, if u still haf time, check this guy out. He's betta than Blaine.

posted by clownz @ 6:13 PM 0 comments

I haf to share these wif you guys.. hahaha...now u haf tons of stuff to watch on youtube!

Yucko the Clown : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KO8l4aiB8s

Hard Gay : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aiHJgvlTu4

Robot Chicken :

and i forgot 1 more KY sent me...the irritating blue puppet dude.. hahah

posted by clownz @ 2:43 PM 0 comments

Its not saltish, motherf$%#er !!!

I shall attempt to explain why itz not saltish, but salty.

When do we use "ish"? When we want to describe something as an almost there but no quite. When we respond to "What time will you want me to come over and teach you how to Quick Pee?" with "I dunno. Seven-ish?", we're only giving a rough timing of when we would like to learn the most useful skill in the world. In other words, a statement that's somewhere there, but not quite.

Sooooo.. if u bring it over in the terms of salt, if you say saltish, you're saying the taste of whatever you've just eaten, tastes something like salt.. but not quite. But what you ACTUALLY mean to say, is that what you've just tasted.... tastes like fricking salt! And in fact, so much so that its a little too much for your liking... hence SALTY.

I'm bored...

posted by clownz @ 5:32 PM 0 comments

Good chip, bad chip

I hit a good chip! It was nice and salty. I knew it as soon as it touched my tongue. Not being pinched like if it were sour or retching if it were bitter, i savoured the saltiness as I crunched down on its poor body. The vege flavour flowed through as I chewed, making me feel nice all over. All because of a salty chip.

I proceeded to take another, but it was not as salty, hence, lousier. And I thought about how freaking idiotic it'd be to blog about it....


BWAHAHAHAHHAHAAHA....

Here's a two songs for u to listen to (two becoz i remember anymore):

Shinedown - I dare you
Paul Wall - Oh girl

And once again, some links for u to view:


Soccer bloopers. Peed in my pants. Funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNTQZCm07LI

Ever heard of Parkour? Itz French for Urban Running. Rem Yamakasi? Well, itz a world wide phenomenon now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUksaD-JJgI

I think I've listed this one before. Still good tho.. haha..
http://www.break.com/index/bearfight55.html

Hahaha...one of the best routines i've seen.. Evolution of Dance!http://www.break.com/index/evolutiondance.html

With that I leave you... and hope you find your salty chip.. hahaha

posted by clownz @ 3:21 PM 0 comments

The World According to...

My Mother

1) Ants can smell, track down and bite thru anything..including air tight sealed plastic containers which contain sweets.
2) If you sit outside near some trees, you are feeding the mosquitoes. That is not welcomed.
3) Dogs are smarter than they appear to be. When Wolf (my dog) stares at the gate, he is plotting the day of his escape.

My Dad
1) As long as you have the house key, thou shalt open the door by urself. Even if your hands are full
2) Sitting outside near some trees, you are feeding the mosquitoes. But itz ok.
3) Me and my brother 'like' a lot of things. The only problem is that we didn't know we did until he mentions them.

My Brother
1) I need as much sleep as humanly possible. The number of hours do not matter. As long as I am satisfied that I have maxed out my possible number of hours of sleep.
2) Data entry makes me tired. So tired that I cannot wake up for dinner.

You
1) Thou shalt not shake thy legs or fidget. If you do, you are dead... even tho I love you.
2) Chocolates rock. Period
3) Little twin Stars rock. Period.
4) Champagne rocks. Period
5) Even though you cock up so much and so often... I'll still love you. (Thank you.)

Me

The above.

posted by clownz @ 5:09 PM 1 comments